Thursday, June 28, 2012

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were"

This has always been one of my favorite all-time love quotes because it is so true, but yet it is not very easy to follow. It is so difficult to set someone you love free and give them space. Yes, you guessed it right, my boyfriend and I have been having some major problems lately; in fact, ever since I have met him, my life has been like a roller coaster. He has so many issues and I try my best to be part of his life and help him deal with them, but he is a very difficult person to handle, so stubborn, very negative and extremely childish. He is 5 years older than me, but sometimes I feel he is 15 years younger.

Personal life aside, I am very happy spiritually and really enjoying my new life as a born-again Christian. So many activities that I hardly ever get time to think back about my old life and even when I do, I feel less anger now and more sympathy for the people that I have left behind, that is, my family and friends who are still living in that hell hole called Islam. The pastor at my Bible Studies also commented on my change of attitude, which has changed drastically over the last few weeks. I feel more at peace with life and now when I think of my past, I don't feel that anger and bitterness that had been a part of me ever since I left Islam last October.

This morning I was talking to my best friend and partner in crime, the girl who also left Islam more or less the same time I did, and she said something so funny that I really have to tell you guys. She said a Muslim person is like a computer with a major System Error, and no matter how many times you reboot the computer, the system error message won't go away. It usually means the hard disk is nearly full and we need to close some programs to delete some files or get a bigger hard drive. When we try to load a file which is too large to store in RAM (random access memory). This is exactly the problem with the mind of a Muslim, it is so full of shit that there is no way to make space for anything else. So even when you try to tell them the truth, it just won't register. Why? Because their memory is full of that evil book which has an everlasting pernicious effect on their minds, the fucking Koran, the book of fairy tales and of course the other handbook, Hadeeth, which is basically a list of of Mo's OCD's and his phobias. So definitely, you will get a major System Error.

What is the solution? I don't know..I am not an IT person..

From now on, I will try to write at least once every week. I guess I have been far too occupied in my life to think about anything else. A new boyfriend who takes up a lot of my mental and emotional strength, then on top of that twice a week Church and then my Bible Studies. But I am not complaining, because I am actually very happy. But I have really missed you guys, and hopefully I won't be gone for long this time...