Some clarifications

I have been pretty clear about my background, but people seem still be to confused. I do not live in Pakistan, as some people assume, but in the Middle East, in fact, in a pretty liberal city in the Middle East where I can openly date a good looking, Western Christian man and no one would even bat an eyelid. Over here, most of the local Arabs love fucking around Filipinos and other Far Eastern women so they are not exactly in the position to judge me.

I go with John to bars and clubs on most weekends. We drink, dance and basically paint the town red, and so far no one ever had any objection, so I really do not know from where people got the idea that I would be killed or stoned or something for dating a non-Muslim guy. Gosh, this is really insane. For heaven's sake, I do not live in Saudi Arabia. Here we get alcohol and even pork, you just need a liquor and pork permit for that. In fact, this very moment, I have a few bottles of vodka and gin in my cupboard. This place is really cool to live in, as long as you do not openly say or do something blasphemous.

I have gone through a lot in my life, from being a not so observant Muslim to a pretty ok kind of Muslim woman who used to pray five times a day and fasting the whole month of Ramadan for most of my life. Then last year, I went through one of the most difficult times of my life and I gave up Islam and became an apostate at first, then a deist and then even an agnostic. In fact, I was almost on my way to being an atheist. I was far too hurt, bitter, resentful and extremely angry at Islam and Mohammed for making me live in fear and guilt all my life. He had created a fear of Allah, the angry, cruel and sadist Allah in the hearts and minds of Muslims. We were not human beings, but zombies who had a blind faith in an evil man who claimed to be the last prophet of God. It was right then when I had almost lost faith in God that I met the love of my life, John. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He made me start believing in God again. He just asked me one thing: do you hate Allah? I said, yes I hate Allah and I hate that son of a bitch Mohammed. He said, why do you hate Allah? I said, because he does not exist and whatever qualities Mohammed claims he has, they are not Godly at all. Then he asked me one very simple question: that if there is a God, how would you want him to be? What kind of qualities would you like to be there in your God? I said if a God truly existed, he would be kind, compassionate and forgiving. He would never take pleasure in torturing his creation in eternal hell. To which he replied, that is exactly the God we believe in. Our God has all those and many more such qualities.

He did not make me change my mind overnight, but yes he had a very important role in making be a believer again. I am not really that angry anymore and I am actually pretty happy these days, and you know what, losers like skouti cannot do anything to change that... I don't care what others think. If they want to think that I do not exist, fine, let them. In fact, it might prove to be better for me in the long run. No one can accuse me of blasphemy or execute me for apostasy because I do not exist. I am Robert Spencer's alter ego. So guys, keep on thinking that Shakila Khan does not exist. It suits me just fine...

"It is best to love wisely, no doubt: but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all."

Hello, my dear friends. It has been indeed a very long time since I posted something on my blog. I guess I have been very busy elsewhere. Yeah, yeah you guys would want to know what else could be more important than my blog. Well, let me just say that I have met someone really really special and he has been the center of my attention lately. In fact, I tried writing several times but just could not get past the writer's block. I guess this is what love does to you. Though I cannot say for sure it's really love, but yes, I am totally besotted with him. I had often wondered why I am still single and why did I always end up meeting the wrong guy, in fact it was more like a pattern. The same kind of guy and the same kind of problems, so obviously it always ended on more or less the same note. But this time things have been different because this time the gentleman in question is not a Muslim. This is precisely why I am actually happy in a relationship and I don't go around saying "I hate men. All men are bastards." Because he is different, he is not like a typical man because he is not a male chauvinist Muslim man. He is a very pious, practising Christian man and he is trying his level best to show me the path to Christ. May God help him in his noble mission.

A lot has been happening at the work front lately. One of my stupid colleagues, yes, yes, the stupid Egyptian guy, came over to my office the other day rather excited and said, "Guess what Shakila, I have discovered something really unbelievable in the Quran. Something that no one has ever realized before me."

I was like, "Wow Ahmed, you never cease to amaze me. So tell me, what is it this time?"

He said, "Do you know about Stem Cell?"

I said, "Yes, I do, and I am pretty much interested in it and read a lot about it since it was in the news a lot lately."

He said, "Exactly, it has been in the news for the last decade or so, but you know something? Quran mentions about Stem Cell 14 centuries ago."

I was totally flabbergasted, to say the least. I almost gulped on my coffee and said, "Wow, Ahmed, amazing. Please tell me more." He then quoted the following verse of the Quran in Arabic and then translated it into English:

Surah Al-Hajj
O mankind! if ye are in doubt concerning the Resurrection, then lo! We have created you from dust, then from a drop of seed, then from a clot, then from a little lump of flesh shapely and shapeless, that We may make (it) clear for you. And We cause what We will to remain in the wombs for an appointed time, and afterward We bring you forth as infants, then (give you growth) that ye attain your full strength. And among you there is he who dieth (young), and among you there is he who is brought back to the most abject time of life, so that, after knowledge, he knoweth naught. And thou (Muhammad) seest the earth barren, but when We send down water thereon, it doth thrill and swell and put forth every lovely kind (of growth). (5)

Yeah, I know what you guys are thinking. I was as stumped as you are. For the life of me, I cannot fathom where the hell is Stem Cell mentioned in the above verse, but no, the ever-so-wise Mr. Ahmed thinks that the verse speaks very clearly about the Stem Cell. Hmmmm... Didn't I always say that Muslims are totally weird? And that is actually an understatement.

Well, all I can say is that I am so thankful to God almighty that I never actually got married to a lunatic Muslim man, though I have to admit, I did come quite close to it a few times. But thank God, my common sense had always kicked in at the right time, though I never really knew at that time why I was refusing the man in question. Now that I am not a blind Muslim woman anymore, I know it beyond any doubt that I would have never been happy with a Muslim MCP. I kind of feel sorry for my mom, my grand moms, my aunts, cousins and my friends for having to live through the hell...

I really do not want to waste any more of my energies on all these negative depressing thoughts, because I am really very happy these days.. First of all, I am totally and completely out of the evil cult called Islam, and secondly I am so happy with John... He is surely the best thing that has ever happened to me...

I can't promise but I will try my level best not to take such a long sabbatical from my blog again. Love you all...