Each time I see a Muslim woman dressed up in the complete Islamic burqa with only her dead expressionless eyes piercing through the black face veil, I cannot but help feel extremely helpless and distressed. It breaks my heart to see a woman being treated worse than an animal. On top of that, they actually feel they are doing the right thing by subjugating themselves to the tyranny of their husbands or fathers.
So many of my friends have been forcefully married off against their will to their cousins or other men chosen by their families. These women have been suffering for years and probably would stay in a loveless marriage for as long as they live, mainly because they do not have a a choice. Period.
I have always been a very unconventional and progressive young woman with very radical views. My dad always said that he really pities the guy who will end up getting married to me. I guess my dad won't have to deal with that after all, since I am not anywhere close to getting married even at 35. I have always been a feminist as far as I can remember, and that is precisely why I could never imagine myself in a subservient role of a Muslim man's docile wife.
I have had plenty of suitors in the past, but somehow it never worked out with any of them. At first, I thought it was my destiny, or rather, my misfortune, or maybe there was something wrong with me, or that I lack what a man essentially wants in a woman, but now I realize that it was a lack of compassion from their side and an absolute absence of sensitivity and social acumen.
I have been accused rather pointedly by several well-wishers on my blog why have I not been married and why didn't my family ever try to get fix me up in an arranged marriage. It is not that they did not try or that I did not get a proposal, but more often than not, the man always ran away in the opposite direction after just one meeting or conversation with me. The reason would always be the same. The girl is too liberal, open minded and blunt... Well, that is the way I have always been, free spirited, uninhibited and straightforward. If a man cannot handle me, then he is not a man enough, at least not for me. I could never see myself getting married to someone who has an unwritten prenuptial contract saying his wife should wear the hijab or that she should quit working and stay at home full time looking after his mom and dad. I have never listened to my parents, so how could a man expect me to submit to him?
I have a mind of my own and I always make my own decisions. Sometimes, a choice may not be favorable, but still it is my choice, and I sincerely believe that we learn from our mistakes. There is absolutely nothing that I have ever regretted in my life, and I hope that there never will be.....